28 Comments
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Ieva's avatar

Leard the lesson the hard way. Friend had drained me to such level that i had to choose between them and my own health.

After the friendship ended, they had texted me 6 months later and had told me that they went to a psychologist (which i have been telling them to do for years).

We continued the friendship. But text only, like pen pals. It was their idea and i agreed, because:

1. Feels like they deserve a second chance after finally going to a psychologist.

2. It's a sort of "training" for me to be more comfortable in saying "no" or displeasing someone. The "scars" that i have remind be to not take their discomfort into me and be a bit more stern/callous instead of enabling or people pleasing.

3. I still care about them.

4. Through interacting with them i stumble upon new stuff from time to time.

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Ros Barber's avatar

I’ve observed this to be true time and again. Rock bottom is where people can push off from. And countries. And societies. In the end, if things are bad, they have to get worse before they can transform.

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Max Bessler's avatar

self destructiveness and self improvement have a lot in common now that I think about it.

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Sherry Ning's avatar

🔥🔥🔥 reminds me of Churchill’s “if you’re going through hell, keep going.” This was such a good read on that hitting-rock-bottom you-vs-yourself feeling

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Justin Ross's avatar

Thanks Sherry

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Alaina Drake's avatar

Bravo 👏

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JFT's avatar

This is a beautiful piece of writing, Justin. Thank you.

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Justin Ross's avatar

My pleasure. I'm particularly fond of this one so I'm glad you liked it.

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Emily Gomez's avatar

This is the second essay I am reading by you...the first one I thought was written by Mark Manson until I got to the end and realized it wasn't. I mean that in the best possible way. I love Mark Manson's work. You can really nail a topic with precision, humor and TRUTH! Love what you are doing here...I will keep reading.

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Justin Ross's avatar

Thank you very much. I'll certainly take that as a compliment.

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Dr. Amber Hull's avatar

The title got my attention. The story kept it.

Thank you for this refreshingly honest piece.

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Justin Ross's avatar

It is without a doubt my pleasure. Thank you.

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Rachel Ackerman's avatar

Read this a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Thank you.

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Justin Ross's avatar

You are utterly welcome.

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Ned's avatar

Saved this one. Thanks Justin.

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Justin Ross's avatar

My pleasure.

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tea drinker's avatar

thank you so much, more people need to be reading this

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Nikhil T's avatar

Great piece!

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Daniel Melgar's avatar

Profound and beautiful. I wish my brother (53 years old) and cousin (60 years old) who both self-destroyed their respective lives could have read your words.

Thank you

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Justin Ross's avatar

You are very welcome. I feel for you.

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Gary Dupuis's avatar

What terrific insight- for the benefit of those addicted and the ones who care about them. Thanks

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Shelly's avatar

I loved this post. Very moving!

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Lewis Grant's avatar

This is profound, even moving. It's something we need to hear in an age of sentimentality.

Thank you.

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Justin Ross's avatar

My pleasure. I appreciate that.

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