You can think of this as a sequel to one of my previous posts, Dealing With Impostor Syndrome.
In that post, I discussed how everybody has incomplete information and imperfect decision making — even the people you most admire. And therefore you should give yourself a break when you start to feel like you’re incompetent or misplaced.
I was reading Brent Donnelly’s am/FX macro daily on Friday, and he said something that resonated with me. He was describing how a new trader at a bank/fund/etc. develops (or should develop) a routine and skill set of his or her own. And how to not only survive the initial learning curve(s), but build habits that make her worthy of her seat. He explains how you should feel when things happen to come easy (reprinted here with blessing):
Be proud of your seat and proud of your franchise. Act like a business owner. Your seat and your franchise are your business, and you are there to build it. Sure, sometimes a juicy trade from sales is just free money dropping into your book and you might feel like you don't deserve that P&L or it's "funny money." You deserve that money because you earned the seat.
This paragraph hit me particularly hard.
Brent’s perspective on this hypothetical (yet common) situation is: Your number one edge is your seat. The number one thing working for you is the fact that you are sitting where you’re sitting. Literally. You have been placed in a position of privilege and responsibility — you have been invited to be there. Don’t squander it away feeling incompetent or undeserving.
There are a couple of things that can be unpacked here.
How To Be An Impostor Properly
First of all, as I said before, everyone is incompetent. And everyone runs into snags, and difficult situations, and problems they can’t solve. And everyone, everyone, has questions. Anyone who says he doesn’t is lying. People who deserve their seats don’t hide from asking questions. But there are good and bad ways to go about it. There is a cheat code to looking good and deserving your seat.
Think of it this way: if you have to ask questions, don't ask questions "as a rookie." Or "as the new guy who doesn't know what he's doing." Ask questions as a business owner. Ask questions as an enterprising, high-agency individual who is curious about how to produce the best outcome or build the best process.
That's what you're doing anyway - you might as well give yourself (and let others give you) the credit for being an enterprising individual. You might as well look sharp. You lose nothing and gain everything. You can actually choose how you look in your seat. It’s a choice.
For example:
“Hi, uh, I’m not sure what this client wants… could you tell me what I’m supposed to do for him?”
… doesn’t sound as good as:
“This client has given me all the information but I’m still a bit confused. I came up with an idea that I think suits his needs, but I wanted to get your input to check my thinking.”
And this isn’t just a confidence thing, although it partially is. It’s more of a making-the-most-of-your-role thing. It’s making a conscious decision that you do in fact deserve that seat, and the responsibilities and privileges that come along with it.
If you are having issues in your new role (or any role), you aren't obligated to panic and hide things from your boss and get overwhelmed. All you have to do is troubleshoot the situation. Speak to the appropriate people, generate some ideas, and make some changes. Again, you have to do it anyway - you might as well look good while you're doing it.
How To Get Lucky Properly
And that brings us back to another thing that is hinted at in Brent’s piece. In the hypothetical situation of an easy trade falling into your lap, it’s safe to say you got lucky. And that happens, and it’s wonderful.
Be happy when good things happen to you or for you, and ask yourself "is it possible that I earned this?"
The answer is yes more often than you'd think.
And for everything else, there's luck. Don't be ashamed or feel guilty when you are on the receiving end of good luck. It's okay to reap the benefits of chance. Especially because you're eventually due for some equal and opposite bad luck.
Eventually, you are going to be the one who suffers because of that seat. And what then?
Well, the only good way to deal with bad luck is to handle it with grace. There is no other good option. So why not treat good luck the same way?
When you watch a game like snooker (yes, I’m talking about snooker again), you’ll see lots of good luck and lots of bad luck on the table. When a player makes a ball by accident, the traditional thing to do is put his hand up as if to say “sorry” or “I acknowledge that I didn’t earn that.” And then he keeps going. Nothing more is required. Because both he and his opponent are perfectly aware and perfectly accepting of the fact that luck partially determines short-term outcomes.
Snooker is a gentleman’s sport, and I admire the hell out of that. And so I try to carry that kind of classy behavior into everything I do, both personally and professionally. Despite the short-term influence of luck, outcomes over time tend to align with how we carry ourselves and how we handle the ups and downs. Over the long run, luck plays a much less central role in outcomes. That is well understood between billiards players, and so it should be with us.
No one likes a bad loser, and no one likes a bad winner. Nobody likes a loser who goes on and on about how he should have won. Likewise, nobody likes a winner who goes on and on about how he doesn't deserve his victory. What makes a lucky person look good is when he is authentically surprised and grateful, and then parlays that luck into something better. He turns good fortune into better fortune. He doesn’t insult everyone around him by squandering the benefits of chance.
Turn the positive twists of fate into opportunities. And then share those opportunities with those around you, and lift others up with you.
You can bring dignity and grace to everything you do, and you can deserve just about every single good thing that happens to you. And even when you don’t, you do anyway. By giving proper credit to yourself for belonging in a seat, you justify your place there. And you earn yourself the privilege of moving to the next seat, where you can do it all over again.
Give everything its proper respect. And that includes your role, and that includes yourself.
Drink some water gracefully,
JDR
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” - Jack Kornfield